What a difference a day makes! Thanks for all of your well wishes, thoughts, peace, prayers and positive energy. I walked into her hospital room yesterday and Granny was wide awake, chatting it up and had the whole nursing staff it stitches, telling them unfiltered stories about us. It appears that, in addition to weakness on the left side and limited field of vision, Granny has also lost her inhibitions. She’s telling it ALL! If anybody had any secrets between them and Granny, forget about it, it’s all coming out now. I mean everything. We’ve heard about several affairs already and had a great history lesson. She told us about a relative who was married to a woman who lived in the “big house” (translation: she was the daughter of a slave and the slave master), but was raised in the masters home and despite marrying a black man — my great grandfather – decided to stay in the big house while my great grandfather raised their children with his mistress, the lady I know as my great-grandmother who was grandaddy’s “stepmother”). Did you follow that? I did and I was fascinated. She told of more affairs like this from the late 19th century and early 20th century.
We also got a science lesson. One of my cousins is pregnant and she just told Granny yesterday. Granny had her lean in as she whispered loudly, “Did you have a good time?” I about hit the floor! Granny went on to explain that if the woman has a better time than a man during sex when she conceives, she’ll have a boy. When the man has more fun, she’ll have a girl. We are a family FULL of girls 8 girls, 2 boys of the grandchildren. My cousin assured her that she had a great time and pointed out that Granny has 2 sons. Granny said, “I sure do!” You could hear the wink.
We laughed so much yesterday listening to her tell us what she really thinks about us all. She was telling the nurse about what we cook that she likes. This one makes this, that one makes that, etc. When she got to my uncle, she said he makes filet mignon because he thinks he’s rich! She also called him the biggest rat in the barn. Does anybody know what that phrase means? We thought it meant he was the oldest, but I was scared to ask her.
I also learned another term, “mother wit”. She said her mother had mother wit. She knew how to teach her girls what they needed to know to be successful women. She is one of 12, only 4 girls (I guess her mom was having a good time too!). She said her mother told her that all of the girls had sense except her. She told us the story of a gentleman caller coming to the house warming his hands in front of the fireplace. He told my grandmother that his hands would warm up faster if he put them between her legs. So she said she went, “Bloop”. That was the sound she associated with flinging her legs wide open. She said the next thing she knows her mom slapped her legs closed so hard it left a hand print. Told her she didn’t have good sense. Granny told her mother that she had always told her to believe the truth and “his hands were cold!”
This was non-stop yesterday. We were all relieved to see her in good spirits. We can tell she is concerned about her condition. She’s trying to push her PT way too fast. She’s holding her left arm up with the right and telling it to “stay up”. That breaks my heart, but at the same time it shows me she’s a fighter. She looked at me yesterday and said, “I’m going to live and I didn’t have the stroke they say I had.” Whatever you say Granny, because you are certainly a fighter and in charge of your destiny. Who can argue with that?
She also told us that she was planning to show up at all of our 90th birthday parties to surprise us all. I SO believe her!
On Second Thought... 