OK! I’m serious this time folks! I need suggestions for diversion this weekend. I thought I’d give you a one-day heads up this time.
I am realizing that I have a tendency to laugh off or be cynical about things that aren’t that easy to talk about, or at least about things that you don’t want to say because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. So, instead of joking about being drained, approaching burn out, and reaching my limits on crisis management, I’ll just say it:
“I’m drained, approaching burn out, and reaching my limits on crisis management.” There. No giggles, no LOLs, no apologies.
And I say it with conflicting sentiment. I love the work that I do and am super-passionate about the issue of sexual assault, particularly child sexual abuse. I adore and am so grateful for the circles of wonderful people who have shared their stories and are sharing their lives with me. I am undone by your pain and your courage to share, grieve and try to move forward. And, I am tired. I MUST learn to do self-care much more intentionally or I will crash and burn in this field in no time. I’ve got to get some better boundaries around this issue and particularly around “saving the world” in general. I need some help with this! Heeeeeeeelllllpppp!!!!
The funny thing is that the church has taught us that bad boundaries and not being willing to sacrifice every drop of yourself for someone else is selfish and unChrist-like. That’s foolishness. Jesus had awesome boundaries. Don’t you remember the scriptures where he was like, “See ya! I’m out!” Check your King James carefully…It may have gotten lost in translation.
Well, I’m not saying, “I’m out!” Just, “I need to GO out!” I need ideas. I’ve been cooped up in church trying to be the perfect pastor’s wife (translation: no life of my own) for 9 years. The pump needs some priming. I love salsa, but lack both daring and capable friends and dance partners. To be honest, I couldn’t careless about the capable ones, just someone willing to have a good time. Hello?!?!??!?!?
And, contrary to popular belief, diversion for me does not require my companions’ use of a Spanish-English dictionary. I can do anglophone stuff too. Really, I can! I sound like I’m whining. I guess I am at this point. I’m about to check the Washington Post Entertainment Guide. (See how desperate I’m getting.) So, please, let me know what’s going on. Tell me about your friend’s cousin’s friend whose having a thing and that place over there. That’ll get me started. LOL.
If I don’t find something fun and relaxing (with company) I’m going to end up not being any good to anyone. Especially myself.