Reflexes

I just heard the airbrakes engage on a tractor trailer outside my window at work. Sense memory is a trip. I had to catch myself from jumping out of my chair and running to the window.

The background: The ex drove a tractor trailer. Hearing the breaks engage meant he was home from a trip or something. And for some reason (we’ll call it denial or stupidity-take your pick) I would be excited to see him.

It all just came flooding back in: the scratchy beard, the sweaty hug, the smell of diesel fuel. Scary. And weird. Nostalgia suffers from amnesia. And so do the reflexes apparently.

Hmm.

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