My Weirdness

So, since I’m just waiting for it to be 6pm (see previous post) I’ll share the list of weird things about me I came up with last night. I was tagged to do this a long time ago, but I can never remember all of it at once. Please feel free to add anything I’ve forgotten. Here goes:

  1. I get nauseous in the medicine aisle of the drugstore or supermarket. I literally have about a 3 minute limit to find what I’m looking for before I start to sweat, my mouth starts to water and I get unbearably queasy. I have to swallow like crazy to keep from throwing up all over the Sudafed. Yuck. I’m getting sick thinking about it.
  2. I am impulsive to an extreme fault. I remember when I first started to drive I was out riding my 12-speed. I dropped my bike in the driveway, as always and ran in the house for something. I got a phone call to come do something more exciting, obviously, so I asked if I could drive mom’s car. She said yes. I jumped into her New Yorker and backed out of the garage, right over my bike! Yes, I saw it. Yes, I knew it was there. Yes, I could have just moved it. But that would have slowed me down. So, I ran over it and went on my way.
  3. I pee on myself if I can’t laugh out loud. I have one of the most obnoxious laughs known to man. It involves a high-pitched scream, followed by normal laughter and occasional snorts. It can not be contained. If I am someplace where it is inappropriate for me to burst out laughing, better pray nothing funny happens. If I absolutely can not laugh. I’ll wet them! Can’t tell you how many of my undies have been tossed in public restrooms, how many church pews probably have a funny smell by now, or how many times I’ve had to buy a new outfit on the fly because I’ve wiped out the one I’m wearing. Kegel’s have helped. I’m down to minor seepage. It’s best that I just laugh.
  4. I never watched cartoons as a kid. I thought they were stupid or for boys or something. I don’t know what most people are talking about when they make references to their favorite episodes. But, I saw every episode of Great Chefs of New Orleans and Dinner with Julia!!
  5. I never cry when people die. I’ve tried to figure this out. It’s kinda like to me death is a part of life, so no big shocker. Except once. I’ve mentioned this before. My boyfriend from 15-18 was killed when I was in college. I cried like crazy forever. In retrospect, he was without a doubt the love of my life. R.I.P. Sean. Te Quiero!
  6. I’ll eat or drink behind just about anyone. I had no intention of putting this on the list. But my friends insist that this is weird. Gross even. I really don’t care. As long as you aren’t visibly repulsive or infected or something, I’ll take a bite off of your fork, or let you try my drink. No big deal. Now, kids with snotty noses offering me the spit soaked oreo in their hand…that’s a no!! A few weeks ago I walked into Tania’s kitchen to take some medicine. I grabbed a cup of water on the counter and took the pill. She was grossed out because she thought it was my cup that had sat out all night. I told her that in fact I didn’t know whose cup it was. She flipped out??? What? It was water!!
  7. I totally live by the 10 second rule. That should be no shocker. BUT, have no fear, I am an immaculate chef. I’d never subject anyone else to my apparently weird personal ingestion practices. Don’t start whispering in the corners about what dish Lexi brought, ok you germaphobes??!!

That’s all I can think of at the moment. Feel free to add to my weirdness. I know I’m nutz!


28 thoughts on “My Weirdness

  1. @ Shellie

    Often, but not every time. I guess that brings me to my #8. I’m like a guy in that whole lacking shyness about farting around people. I guarentee you, I will almost NEVER go to the bathroom to fart. So, if you’re with me and wondering who delt it…it was probably me. Everything gives me gas. Everything.

  2. I snort when I laugh—it’s very ladylike and endearing! You make me want to start a blog! I would call it “Bitch on Wheels — and other things my daughter will call me when she’s an adult”

  3. can you have a blog with an expletive in the title? The things that concern me these days–lol. Yesterday I was listening to 95.5 and they were talking about my and the DJ was talking about the “nice” little girls who had my space pages such as “Cum in my mouth” Yeah that’s the kind of girl I want to raise!! Where the hell are her parents???

  4. Darn you Lex… #3 made me spew coffee from my nose!!! One of the ladies I work with has the loudest and most distinctive laugh I’ve ever heard. You could say it’s borderline obnoxious, because I can hear it from my office… which is a completely different wing of the building. As far as I’m concerned though, I consider it one of her endearing qualities.

    So don’t hold back a good belly laugh… LET IT OUT!!!

    #7… Oh yeah definitely. 10 seconds, maybe 20 if you’re particularly busy. No problem here with that at all.

    As for the farting. Ok, I’m a guy so I may have a different perspective on this subject. However, the day when basic body functions STOP being funny is the day I want someone to kill me immediately and without mercy.


  5. I just want to point out to you that you have led me to another bad computer habit—reading blogs. It seems like every time I pick a link from your page, it leads to another link I want to read and that leads me to ummmmm OH YEAH ANOTHER LINK!!! I don’t have time for this–I already spend half the night playing the SIMS 2 Nightlife! Now I have to take time away from that in order to support my BLOG habit.

  6. Ok, now #6 I have a BIG problem with! I don’t want to eat/drink after my own husband, which I’m sure is ludacris considering ALL that we share. I won’t even eat after my own mother – the lady who had me. I won’t eat after my own children, who I pushed out…well you get the point :’)

  7. Oh, and I forgot about #3. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have the same problem. One Sunday I peed right in church because this old lady took out her teeth while she was singing and laid them on the pulpit beside her. I thought I would die laughing (and peeing). Then I had the nerve to wrap my mother’s new red coat around my waist and get that pissy as well. Oh well, I thought it was a good solution.

  8. Okay—this brings me to an old story–remember me “The group Historian” Lexi do you remember when we were in elementary school and LaShawn had to borrow your jacket to wrap around her waist because she had a feminine accident…and then left a stain on your jacket too? She sure has not changed much…

  9. @ Andy

    I’m glad you spewed through your nose and don’t have to change your pants.

    @ Shellie and LaShawn

    You girls are getting about as much work done today as I am. I sure missed you guys. And I’m glad I’m not the only Ms. Pissy.

  10. LaShawn, thank you. Thank you so much for that story, because I am sitting at my desk struggling not to cry real tears of laughter. That is golden!

    Yes, Lex, I thought I was going to keel over and hurl when you picked up that stray cup of water and downed it like it was nothing. I don’t even think I’m gonna eat lunch today.

    My struggle to not pee has nothing to do with humor. All my body has to know is that I’m inches away from the toilet and out it starts. Buttons, hook-and-eye closures, and Lord, tie strings have been my doom many a day! Could it be a result of childbirth, the habit of holding it too long, or being over 30?

  11. I was waiting for that!!!! Katrice, you do not disappoint.

    You insert them into your vagina and use your Kegel muscles to keep them from falling out they are weighted, so they’ll fall right out if you aren’t exercising your muscles properly.

    They aren’t EXACTLY designed to control incontinence, but that’s a great by-product.

  12. What! What! What! Ok Yeah…. You are all freaking cazy. That’s it, I am now convinced that ALL of lexi’s friends are Crazzzy. You people have me lolanp… Geeesh it must really suck to be a woman. Exercise to control laughter peeing? Whew

  13. LOL I don’t know if I should get some of those…babies weaken your bladder seriously…as if sitting on it isn’t enough for them…little embryos like to kick the bladder too (yeah, some accidents have occured while each little bun was in the oven).

    Can’t say i’ve peed on myself while laughing…so that’s definitely weird.

  14. Lex, I don’t know which is more fortright and funny, your post or the comments. I can count on either to get a good laugh.

  15. So glad I read your six weird things. You are clearly more weird than I am! LOL Just kidding. Actually, I will drink or eat after anyone too. This is weird? Huh…

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