Family Reunion, Other Stuff and a Kiss Off

I’m a back and I am coming down off of the shakes and cold-sweats from Internet withdrawal over the weekend. Whew!

I’m thinking about a few things, so we’ll see how this all comes out:

1. I went to ATL for my family reunion on my mother’s side of the family. As with most families, family reunions are usually the pits. This one was great! I had a wonderful time, spent time talking to some folks I’ve only spoken to in passing and I am more convinced than ever that my family is nuts. But it was a lot of fun.

Why does everybody in the South have a nickname? I mean a straight up nickname…not like Lexi or anything. Here’s some of my family:

Sug (short for Sugar, so pronounce it correctly, that’s my grandmamma!), Honey (Sug’s sister), Head aka Sonny Boy, Spook aka Slick, Sheister, Scoopy, Cheetah, Cootie, and I know there are more I can’t remember.

And, if they aren’t all out nicknames that have nothing at all to do with your real name, they’re variations of your real name that have been used so often, your 42 year old brother doesn’t even know how to pronounce your real name! I swear to God this happened. My cousin Darryl, whose real name is Henry, but since his middle name is LaDarian, we call him Darryl…. Darryl had to read his family’s portion of the family tree. His sister Quinn had to correct him 4 times on the proper pronunciation of her real name, Quinicier (spelled Quincincier in the program, so who knows, maybe that’s it.) The point is no one has ever heard this name uttered, so no one knows how to pronounce it. Why give children names we don’t use? If you plan on giving your kids jacked up names (Henry and Quincincier) just to give them better nicknames before they leave the hospital, why bother with the jacked names?

2. And, people in the South, even Atlanta–as progressive as it is trying to be, live much slower, laid back lives. They’re not in a hurry for anything. Not even high-speed internet. My uncle had dial-up. I nearly died. I have included a link for those of you who may have forgotten what that means. It took me 30 minutes to check my e-mail. I just gave up. Blogs were not an option. I don’t understand how people function without unlimited 24 hour a day high-speed internet access. I think I may be an addict (in case you didn’t click it the first time). Do crackheads think everybody should do crack? I don’t think so. I really think everybody needs high-speed internet. It’s like water–8 glasses a day! I don’t even have to read blogs or post to mine. I just need to know that I can have instant access to information at my fingertips should I need it. Doesn’t everybody need this?

3. Oprah gets on my freaking nerves!!!! Sorry. She’s on now, invading my audition. OK. Now I’m watching the Secret Life of the Sandwich. Much better. Previously there was a WUSA-TV 9 special report on the demolition of the Woodrow Wilson Bridge. Food Network really is the only channel anyone needs.

4. I have reached a place many of the more well-seasoned bloggers I read have spoken of frequently. I’ve noticed that I’ve been here for some time now, and I’m putting it out here now, hoping that confession will help me stop. I find myself writing for a freaking audience. There are so many things that I filter out because of who might read it and what they might think about me. There are some things I find absolutely fascinating, that I just don’t talk about because it might not be proper for an ex-pastor/pastor’s wife. I hate that I do it, but I do. I lived that life for too long (pretending not to care about things others would disapprove of) so I’m going to stop doing it here. I brought this up in the comments to my last post, so I’ll say it here for all. If you don’t like what I say here, stop reading my blog!!! Don’t waste precious time judging me. Get. A. Life. OK. I feel like I’ve created some space for myself on my own damn blog now. Hate that I felt like I needed to do that, but I did. I feel better. And then again, I could just be self-deluded and grandiose to think that there really is someone out there with nothing better to do than judge the one who has already accepted her fate handed down by the holier-than-thou: hell in a handbasket with gasoline drawers!! I feel like I’m making progress, but I’m really scarred by the last 9 years of my life! Whew! Pray for me, ya’ll! LMAO.

5. I am so glad to be home and naked. I enjoy traveling, but nothing like your own space to just be you.

6. Oh, and injera makes me want to vomit. I love ethnic food. I love Ethiopian food, but this bread makes me gag. I hate the texture. It feels like you’re eating a sponge. I have a serious craving for comfort, stewy, family style, eat with your fingers food. But I need crusty bread. I had Roasted Red Pepper and Lentil soup with a baguette from Panera Bread for lunch today. I was in heaven. I didn’t even eat the half a sandwich I ordered with it. I love this kind of food. But, once a food activates my gag reflex, that’s it… forever! I can’t do it. Do you think the Ethiopians would be offended if I ordered a baguette with my Doro wat? Oh, Kitfo is out of the question too, along with all other forms of tartar. I’ve tried them. I hate them. I gag.

That’s all I’m thinking about right now. I have sooooo many thoughts about my weekend read: The Almond by Nedjma. I can’t decide where to start. I made a few comments here. I’m working on that post. Stay tuned.


17 thoughts on “Family Reunion, Other Stuff and a Kiss Off

  1. LOL. this one was pure verbal diarrhea. I got caught on and turned around by a few bits of corn as I was trying to “go with the flow” LOL.

    Too much for me to wrap my brain around and comment on I think my mental power was spent trying to catch up on your blog. I think I need to start my own again…the wright loss one is not working because weight loss is not working! LOL. Thank once again for checking on me…can I borrow a few hours of sleep?!?!? And how about outling next week’s environmental law readings for me? Thank hon! Love ya!

  2. Okay, I have been functioning for 5 hours already today and I think I need a nap. wright->weight and my grammar and punctuation is just as off as my thoughts. Forgive me.

  3. Jali< -----tapping dainty foot and waiting to hear what family nickname your family has for you. I quit eating popcorn due to my buds from Ethiopia – coffee and popcorn are just strange to me. I tried, but no can do. I’ve never tried sponge-bread and I don’t think I will… I had an Uncle “Brother” once – we were all in NYC. Nice page – I’ll come back to visit another day – please have snacks available!

  4. You write what you want!!!! Don’t worry about what others say.

    I loved your expression “to be home and naked”. Cause that is how I describe bliss.

    Glad you reunion was fun. Mine are always horrendous.

  5. Yeah! What’s with this writing with a censor on??? Say what you wanna!

    THAT was BREAD????????

    You heard my family’s nicknames: Aunt Sweet, Aunt Dollbaby, Aunt Boo-Boo, Punkin’… hilarious.

  6. Glad you’re back, and I totally relate to the withdrawal symptoms. I went away for a week recently and it was really rough not having the Internet. (Ah lak t’ diiied.)

    I love your posts. Please don’t deprive us of your real thoughts, whatever they are. After all, judge not, etc.

    I’m also with you on giving children names that are never used, and nicknames that bear no relation to the real ones. I always wonder what they’re saving those names for, like certain household implements. (Oh,no, don’t use The Good China.)

    “Home and naked” says it all — no need for pretense of any kind.

    The first time I saw an Ethiopian restaurant, I thought it was an oxymoron. After all, this is a country best known for widespread crushing famine. I prefer the non-suffocating kind of bread myself, something with edges to separate it from my esophagus. I’m funny that way. Viva le baguette!

  7. BEST.

    Lexi, keep up the stream-of-consciousness style of writing. I almost spewed Dr. Pepper out my nose on every item.

  8. @ Colin

    Thanks. Welcome. Please come back again.

    @ Gela

    No one in particular. It’s just these damn voices in my head that I’ve heard so much I can anticipate what they’ll say about what I’m thinking about writing. No one has said anything to me directly. Actually, I dare them. It’s just that I am just now learning how to be who I am and not who everyone wants me to be. Sometimes I forget that there’s no need to pretend….Like, in a comment on a previous post I referred to the ex as an irresponsible ass. That was so liberating. I’ve been so diplomatic of my treatment of him here. It was good to just say what I felt at the moment. Stuff like that.

    Let me know if you decide on DC!

    @ KMF

    It was verbal diarrhea, and I washed my hands afterwards. LOL. It felt good to get it out. Take your time. I anticipate your comments.

    @ Jali

    Welcome! OMG. OK. I’ve been Sexy Lexi since I was seven years old! An uncle decided that I thought I was a little diva, and that’s been my tag ever since. Where on EARTH he got that from, I’ll never know. And my dad still calls me Moochie to this day. I’m 33!!!! How’d you get that outta me?

    Don’t eat the injera. It’s not worth the other food that will inevitably make it’s way back to the back of your throat as a result of it.

    Oh yes, so many nicknames that come from relationships. My grandma on my father’s side is Lil’un. Her twin sister is Big’un. They didn’t have names until they were 5, so they went by Big Sis and Little Sis, that morphed into Big one and Little one…hence the nicknames. My Granny is Lil’un to EVERYBODY! “How’s Auntie Lil’un?” ROFL.

    Please come back!

    @ Fresh

    I long to write with your abandon. I’m working on it.

    Home and naked absolutely is bliss. The ultimate space for abandon.

    I don’t think there was a single fight at this reunion. Radical!!

    @ Katrice

    I’m trying to, but it’s harder than I thought. Maybe if I remove that dang counter I’d feel freer to do just that.

    Yep. That’s bread. Looks like a dish rag or something doesn’t? Tastes like one too.

    Don’t you talk about nicknames. You have more than any one person I know, Sapphire!!

    @ Heart

    What IS up with not using the good china?? Or the good sofa for that matter? Insane.

    I am so glad you said that about the oxymoron. When asked to try Ethiopian, my first response was, “What’s on the menu, air?” I’m glad I’m not the only one!! That bread is the worst. Too bad because the other food is great.

    @ Andy

    Thanks. Will do. I’m scared for you guys to see what comes out, but I’ll do it more often.

  9. You’re right. Pulled my card. And you haven’t even heard them all.

    Know how we Louisianians came by calling our grandmothers “Muh?” It started with the children calling their mothers “Mother Dear” which got shortened to “M’Dear” which got shortened to “Muh” or “Mah.”

    I think Tyler Perry may have had this in mind when he came up with the character name Madea.

  10. okay people, you’ll have me in tears of laughter. Heart – “The first time I saw an Ethiopian restaurant, I thought it was an oxymoron.” Lexi – my first response was, “What’s on the menu, air?” … hilarious

    Lexi – I’m learning this, join me. Freedom comes at a cost, you have to pay the price of boldness. Say what ya wanna say – be what ya wanna be – cause in the end, it’s your life to live…

  11. @ Katrice

    Can’t wait to hear the rest.

    And, I thought your Muh was the only one! I’ve heard of Madea before, and Mother Dear…but never Muh. That’s news to me. How about Bi’Mama? That’s what we called my great grandmother and most of my cousins call their grandmothers.

    I’m sorry, ain’t no body gonna call me Big NOTHING!!! (I have gotten so country between my trip to LA and ATL!)

  12. Are you sure that is bread??? Upon first glance at that picture, i thought it was a cement platter with mushy fruit on top (for decoration?). Oi!

    As for nicknames….yep i’ve got mine. My granny calls me Nikki and my daddy calls me Boo (sometimes Boo Bear (don’t know where that one came from)). But I’ve never been to a real family reunion…my parents would drive down to Texas and would stop in Tennessee and Mississippi on the way, visiting family. Those trips were always fun.

    As far as being home and naked…that’s what you’re supposed to do! Heck! I enjoy some quality naked time…cooking, watching, tv, etc…

  13. @ MC_MUTT

    Don’t ever whine to me again about somebody who has offended you or otherwise hurt your feelings. It was a damn rant not a race war and I happen to like the dang attorney!!!

    I’m done with this topic.

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