When I toast I always say, “Here’s to…”. What the hell does that mean? Here’s some wine to your new job? Here’s where I’m supposed to lift my glass and say something meaningful to honor your marriage? Here’s where I say ‘here’s to…” because I don’t know any other way to make a toast? What’s up with that?
So, I thought I should do some research. I got way more information than I wanted, but I did find out that bunches of people say, “here’s to…” although it makes so little grammatical sense to me. That was until I came across one that said, “Cheers to Maria!” Well, look a that! What do we have here? How many times does this happen with language? Somebody hears something wrong, repeats it wrong and then the rest of the world starts saying something that’s nothing more than a stupid mistake. I wish I could think of an example of what I mean, but they all escape me at the moment. Damn, my ex was notorious for screwing up a saying. We literally used to sit in church and write them down. We had a running list. He’d say stuff like, “on the blink of a dime”. What the hell does that mean? What’s it supposed to mean? I should post a list, if I can think of them, with a call for interpretations. I used to think he made up jug-handled curve, but I heard someone else say that….oh, oh, here’s one: She couldn’t hit the broad side of a barnyard. Hello?!?!?!?! Does your barnyard have walls? What was I talking about?
Oh, yes, sayings we’ve mutilated. Let me know if you think of any. This one is like nails on a chalkboard for me: I could care less. Well, if you could care less about the issue, obviously it is at least of some importance to you…so, what’s the point in mentioning it? It’s: I couldn’t care less, people. Trust. If you don’t believe me, plug both of them into a sentence about something that is of absolutely no significance to you and let me know what you get. I think Here’s to is supposed to be Cheers to. Now that makes sense. I can sleep easy tonight. I hate sounding like an idiot.
I found a toast that is now my favorite, and I toast all of you lovelies. Do you have favorite, funny, or tear-jerking toasts? I’d love to here them. In the meantime:
To temperance . . . in moderation.
— Lem Motlow