Top 20 Things I Hate

I think people are often most easily defined by what they hate. I know that’s a negative way to view the world, but it’s true. What you hate tells me so much more about you than what you love. If you love cats, that’s great, but you might love dogs too. If you tell me you HATE cats, I know where you stand…and since you’re being so emphatic, if you hated dogs, you would have told me that too, in the same breath.

So, here’s 20 tidbits about me. 20 things I HATE:

20. Funerals: There’s no need for dead bodies to be on display. None. I think this is archaic and stupid. I hate the idea. I always have. I tolerate it for people I love, but no. We’ve evolved.

19. My period: No explanation needed.

18. Being manipulated: I need people to just shoot straight from the hip with me. I don’t have time for mind games. Say, “I’m a selfish bastard and I just want this to go MY way!” I’ll say it to YOU.

17. Missing the VERY beginning of a movie: This makes me so mad I want to spit nails. Then, I’m so pissed at whoever made me miss it, that I miss the next 10 minutes thinking of how much I hate them, and the next 20 trying to figure what the hell’s going on. Movies must be seen from the opening credits. Otherwise, I don’t want to watch. Period.

16. Cartoon Network: Hate it. Not even the old “good” cartoons are anything I want to see in my adult life. Ever. I don’t even want the happy, fighting, ninja, shape-shifter, squarepants images flickering in the background while I’m doing something more…adult!

15. Men who come up BEHIND you to dance: WTF? I didn’t grow up going to clubs and the like. I only go out dancing on occasion, and that’s usually salsa. I like dancing where people are facing each other, where there’s a lead and a follower. I don’t like having crotch rubbed on my ass. (Not unless I asked you to.)

14. Chocolate and mint together: Who in the world thought this was a good idea??? The smells combined make me want to wretch. Yuk!! Somehow I brought myself to try a Thin Mint, you know, the Girl Scout cookie. It wasn’t too bad. But Andes Candies and York Peppermint Patties are down the toilet with mint chocolate-chip ice cream.

13. Bugs: Duh?

12. Booger-eating (or snot-licking): Nothing will make me snatch your kid up quicker. This is disgusting. I have no tolerance for it. I will throw up in your child’s lap. Trust. I can’t even discuss adults who do it.

11. Crusty, cracked heels: Because there’s NO reason for it. None.

10. Black and white TV and movies: Again, evolution.

9. Entitlement: In all its forms. I hate it in the corporate board room…I hate it among the indignant in social services offices.

8. Sunny Delight:Orange-milk!! Yuk. And the red is Blood-milk. Gross!

7. Hospital smell: See the thing about hospitals is that I can’t help fixating on exactly what that combination of smells is comprised of. Is it blood, urine and tuna casserole? Is it feces, vomitus and chicken noodle soup? What is it?

6. Frilly head bands on bald baby girls: Look, your baby has no hair. The head band is to hold the hair (which your baby lacks) out of baby’s face. It looks stupid. We know she’s a girl by the matching dress that came with the head band. Lose it.

5. Asian mushrooms: I know most mushrooms are probably Asian, but I specifically mean the ones that look like little penis heads, pictured above.

4. House and Techno music: Just shoot me now and plan my body-less funeral…that you’re all welcome to skip, by the way.

3. Liquid Medicine: I almost threw up in my lap on the way to work this morning because remnants of my liquid vitamin were still on my top lip. When I caught a whiff I got hot, started salivating profusely. I think I swallowed 97 times in 2 minutes to keep from throwing up down my shirt. What do women do when they have morning sickness? Drive in after they finish wretching?

2. Star Trek: Not even as background noise. I will awaken from the persistent vegetative state I’ve been in for 10 years to turn off Star Trek.

1. Assholes who mistreat other people: That just wraps up so much in a nutshell. I hate people who violate, abuse, take advantage of, manipulate, harass or are just generally mean to others. It’s just wrong.

So, what about you? Make this a meme if you like. I won’t tag anyone in particular, except Andy, but if you do post your top 20 or 5 or whatever, link back here so that we can all read them.

Have a great day!

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21 thoughts on “Top 20 Things I Hate

  1. @ Jali

    I’ll be looking for it.

    @ Christina

    Nope. Never heard of it. Just gagged reading the recipe.

    I’ll be looking for yours too.

  2. Oh, dear.

    20. I think this is the last honesty we have about death. (Actually, embalming and the hiding of the organs isn’t honest, but still.) Notice how when the Crocodile Hunter died, you couldn’t find the word “dead” associated with his death? No, he “passed away” or whatever. I can’t stand that. (Oh, no! I can’t make my own list, I don’t want my thoughts to broil!)

    17. Exactly! I still remember how I missed the beginning of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, AND whose fault it was.

    15. Ew! They know they’re wrong, that’s why they don’t ask.

    14. Oh, good, no custody fight.

    13. Exactly!

    12. I’m glad you don’t talk about me.

    11. But I’m exhausted.

    10. I can see if you don’t want them made today, but colorization sucks. I refuse to watch remakes or the colorized version of A Miracle on 34th Street. Gregory Peck is fantastic in b&w. Mmm, Peck.

    1. Exactly! I stuck up for people even when I couldn’t do it on my own behalf.

  3. 10. Condescending people — anyone who knows me will laugh because i can be condescending myself – I am working on it.

    9. Roaches – I don’t like any bugs but roaches in particular make me want to throw up.

    8. People who don’t give you the wavve when you let them in — I spend a lot of time in traffic.

    7. Chicken thighs–that glob of at on the side is just pllain disgusting.

    6. Men who call women “baby girl” whether they know them or not — who the hell are you???

    5. Pee on the toilet seat — how freakin big does that hole have to be???

    4. Public restrooms — I once made LaShawn drive me all the way home form the club so that I could use my own bathroom–why?? See #6

    3. To feel the seam of my pantyhose UNDER my toes–I hate that feeling.

    2. Not being able to see a full movie or show–If I can’t hear every word that was said I feel lost for the whole show–even the 30 minute sitcoms.

    1. My period – it even grosses ME out.

  4. I agree with you on the mint and chocolate together. It’s a horrible mistake!

    #6 cracked me up!

    If I liked mushrooms before, I would make it a point to hate them even more completely now. Those things are ugly!

  5. @ ~m~

    I concluded a long time ago that you’re nuts! There’s no reason to love your period. None. Tolerate it, perhaps. LOVE it, no. None.

    #12, I told you, I can’t even discuss that.

    #20, I think honesty of death is identifying the body at the morgue…or being the one to find it. That’s good enough for me.

    I think sticking up for the vulnerable is why I’m broke now. LOL

    @ Shellie

    Chicken thigh fat, ugh!! Thanks for playing.

    @ Kwesi

    Thanks for stopping by?? What’s with you these days? Cat got your tongue?

    @ Debbie

    Yep. They sure do.

    And I think you either love mint and chocolate and hate it. There doesn’t seem to be any middle ground.

    @ Katrice

    Those things are silly. They should all be burned.

    And, I was going to post this, but it’s safer here in the comments:

    Has anybody ever clicked that wheelchair down there next to the word verification box? Must try it.

    Sorry. I’m bad.

  6. This was a fascinating post, Lex. I couldn’t agree more about open caskets. Nobody needs to see that, and I can’t believe that anybody would want to be seen like that. We don’t need proof. If you say someone is dead, we’ll take your word for it, thank you very much.

    I don’t think I’ve seen an adult eat snot, but still have the incredibly disgusting image of my next-door neighbor doing so when we were kids. So thank you for that. My collectiion of things-I’d-rather-not remember grows.

    I love Casablanca. Black and white or green and purple. I LOVE it. Colorizing sucks, though.

    Feces, vomitus and chicken noodle soup is probably today’s winner of something, not sure what, though. You are funny!

    I can’t do medicine of any kind very well. If I ever become life-or-death dependent on anything, I’ll die. In fact, I’d rather.

    Your list is most revealing, as you promised. But you didn’t say anything about dogs or cats. I feel so incomplete, somehow.

  7. @ Heart

    Oh, no animal could ever find it’s place on my hate list. I LOVE dogs more than most people and I like cats a lot. I’d love them if it weren’t for the whole litter box thingy.

    I rented the movie Must Love Dogs because you just MUST. There’s no room in my life for anyone who doesn’t at least like them at a distance (I make exceptions for the allergic.)

    My 9 year old Yorkie/son Samson died 2 years ago in September. I miss him so much. I lost his brother Rudy, now 11, wow, (Mommy’s getting old) in a custody battle. I can’t have a dog in my new apartment. I feel like my life is missing a very important part.

    I’ve always, always, always had a pet. If one died, I had a new one within 2 days. I’ve never lived without animals until now.

    Thanks for bringing me full circle! 🙂

  8. I’m with Heart. I’ve had the good fortune to never see an adult eat the products of their nose. But almost as gross, I’ve seen two different people on the street hold one nostril shut and projectile blow out the other nostril right there in public. Both times I stopped dead in my tracks and shrieked like a banshee. There are few things worse.

  9. I meant to say “Exactly!” when I commented to Shellie.

    Lex: 12. You know, I was hoping maybe you meant just in public. Hm. YOu didn’t mention your aversion when it was my #1 response to that meme you gave me.

    Love it or hate it?
    Mint chocolate = Prince!

    6. Exactly!

    5. So I went to an Asian restaurant today, and much to my chagrin, “greens” are mostly not, and they included those things, so I didn’t try them. I hate mushrooms, but I might have tried them were it not for you, Lex. So maybe you rescued me, but now I’m superhungry! I could only eat the few pieces of beef. There were onions and cilantro (which should only be used for flavor!), shaved carrots, and what seemed like lettuce, but by the time I found it, I was done with the beef. And just the day before, I was saying you can always have either chicken or beef in a seafood place. I didn’t know I’d end up undernourished.

    What is up with that wheelchair?

  10. Wow… good list! This is gonna be hard to top, but I’ll do my best. I’m glad you posted this NOW so I can ponder my hatred over the weekend.

    😉

    And you DO realize I’m eventually going to tag you back with something, don’t you? [evil snicker]

  11. I like a lot of your points, but I gotta disagree with you about funerals. At their best, it’s a good place to remember your favorite things about a person and send them off in style.

    At their worst, funerals are a good place to pick up women.

  12. 8. Sunny delight… Once when I felt a cold coming on I asked my daughter if she would walk 2 blocks to the 7-eleven and get me some orange juice. You guessed it… She brought me some Sunny D. I saw the container and started feeling my mouth salivate — the bad way.

    This post cracked me up… I’m with you on just about everything — even the mint/chocolate thing. It’s hard to imagine people who try to bastardize pure, unadulterated chocolate…

  13. I definitely agree on the whole chocolate/mint thing. I love chocolate. I like mint. But don’t screw things up by mixing the two.

    It’s just like pineapple on pizza. I like both, but pineapple doesn’t belong on pizza.

    It’s just… WRONG!

  14. I HATE…
    1. Mayonnaise (disgusting)
    2. Snakes
    3. Snobs
    4. Ditto #17
    5. Bad sex
    6. M.A.S.H.
    7. Paying taxes
    8. White milk (now that’ll make me puke in a minute, my poor brittle bones)

    P.S. I love, love, love mint and chocolate. It’s better than sliced bread.

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