It´s my party and I´ll ….

June 6th was the floor. No. June 6th was my birthday. It sucked monkey butt. I worked until 12:40 am, so it wasn’t even my birthday anymore. But no matter. Bacardi 151 is the Shit. I’m sorry. disclaimer. don’t let your kids read this. I might say bad things. Bacardi 151 has that effect.

I’m in Puerto Rico. My cousin came with me. She keeps buying me drinks for my 2 day old birthday that I can’t resist. She keeps saying “Pito Mojado” as her demonstration of her Spanish. She means “Piso Mojado” which means wet floor. But she keeps saying wet dick. I am laughing my ass off every time the men try to correct her and you know what that means. yes. I’ve peed on myself. twice. I’ts ok though. the laundry is across the hall.

Did I mention Bacardi 151? I didn’t know what the number meant. It means….the BOMB!!!

I am sofaKing drunk and so is my cousin. she’s taking pictures of herself with her camera on an ipod. no. a tripod. She knows how to say dios mio and hace calor. She wants to know how to say I want to give you a …wet dick. She’s so drunk.

OMG. you should have seen these folks descend upon the food we served at this conference today. I have never seen anything like it in my life. folks took 2 bags of M&M’s and Skittles and Hagen Daaz like it was contraband. They smuggled that shit like they were starving. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life … and never laughed so hard in a professional setting. It was hilarious.

I lvoe Puerto Rico. I am sooooo coming back. I danced my ass off tonight, and I have pics, but my camera, UPS cable…no USB cable and camera are too far away from each other for me to show you.

Everybody who wished me a happy birthday yesterday…thank you!!!! I love you. If you don’t read my blog, you don’t know I thanked you. Too bad. So sad. Read my itshay!!

My mom called me today. June 7th. She pushed vagina and still missed it!!! She’d be morified that I told you that. She wants to be the perfect mom. Cuz lost a toenail dancing tonight.

I was surprised how many people called me. It was great. I’m loved. Yay!! And I got emails too. You know who you are. Thank you and SMOOCHES!!!!

She just said, “Food and TV are my sex”. That’s a real serious problem. I might need to leave the hotel room for a night or two. That’s sad.

OK. I soo can’t do this anymore.

I’ll post pics when I’m less…um….f****D up!! It’s my birthday and I’ll be drunk if I want to. I have to work in the am at 6. Puerto Ricans can make the HELL out of a drink. Do you hear me??? They know how to do it down here. I’m having so much fun.

I danced my bootie off tonight. Did I tell you that already?

Hey, you know who, I lost count on my rum and Coke’s tonight too. But I took a cab. Learn from the master. 151 Baby!!!

I’m going to bed. I have to work and act like a grown up tomorrow.

Let’s not mention the fact that the man who signs my checks was sitting right next to me as I declared how fu**ed up I am. I love this job.

Bye now. Mañana.

Paz.

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8 thoughts on “It´s my party and I´ll ….

  1. Oh man, my head hurts just THINKING about rum & coke again. And I was only drinking the “normal” stuff… not the jet-fuel 151. Hats off to you in that regard!!!

  2. Hehe, sounds like you’re having fun. So you’re in P/Rico? For work? Can I get a job there too?

    A belated happy birthday to you my dear.

    So I take it,you bought the laptop?

  3. Happy belated birthday, Lex! I would have called you if I’d known how.

    I love Puerto Rico, too, and you’re an adorable drunk. Lucky the laundry is across the hall.

    Your cousin should probably work on her Spanish. Or maybe not. Piso mojado. I have a new favorite expression. I think I’ll drop it on a Mexican waiter and see what happens.

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