Ramblings on a Sunday Repeat

Long weekends are made for sleeping. Sleeping as much as humanly possible. I have proven this weekend that I, in fact, am superhuman. The last couple of weeks really drained me, but dad is doing well and is home. In the end his heart is fine. He has a nasty germ that they think came in through the GI tract, but the infection is in his heart valve. He’s on IV antibiotics for the next 7 weeks!!! I’ve never heard of taking antibiotics for that long. I asked him if he wanted me to pick him up some Monistat, since I’ve heard antibiotics can cause yeast infections. He said, “No thanks.” I was just trying to help.!

I have only worked out once in this two weeks, so I’m starting to feel yucky. I need to get back in the saddle. It’s getting dark early so that means that running in the evenings is coming to an end. Running in the mornings is already out, because it’s still dark at 5:30 now. Unfortunately this is pointing me back to the gym. I’m not a big fan of working out indoors, but it’s my only option. So I’ll adjust.

My commute takes up too much of my life, I’ve concluded. I lose 2 hours a day going back and forth to work. I really need to work closer to home, but right now the commute is worth the money. I’m hating it though. I could be using that time to work out…or demonstrate my superpowers!! Or clean my apartment.

I kept my place spotless for the 1st 10 months I was here. My hectic schedule has wreaked havoc on this place. I don’t have the time to get it in the shape I want it so that all I have to do is minor maintenance and when I do have the time I’m tired. I am really contemplating hiring a cleaning service. That really goes against my views on indulgence, but I want my house clean when I come home. Is it elitist to have a housekeeper?

I’m beginning to wonder if something is wrong with my life that I don’t have time to do the basic things. Maybe it’s not that I’m too busy to do them, it’s just that I’m too busy enjoying life to do the mundane. I think that’s part of it. I’m enjoying my so-close-to-officially-single-I-can-taste-it life. It’s refreshing and fun. But it’s exhausting and somehow, with all the fun, there are still only 24 hours in a day. And, as mentioned before, I must have my 8 hours. I guess that’s something. I do force myself to get adequate sleep, even if that means laundry piles up for weeks. I haven’t bought any new packs of underwear, so it’s not as bad as it can be.

Speaking of packs of underwear, can I tell you how much shit my cousins gave me at our Panty Party a few months ago about buying underwear in a pack? I was shamed, I tell you! I like cotton undies. I buy cute ones. Sexy cuts. I don’t like a sweaty crotch and all other fibers make me sweat. They were so mad. I have pics from the panty party, and those little exhibitionists would love for me post them, but, um no!! No soft porn from my blog. Not until the divorce is final, at least.

On that topic, I get lots of questions about when it will all be over. I try not to talk about it to much because, on one hand I’m silly and don’t want to jinx the process, and on the other hand, I want to surprise the world with the pyrotechnics display that will be the blog post announcing the end of this fiasco. I’m all about the dramatic. It’s getting closer and closer. He’s actually hired an attorney now, so I don’t know just yet if that will hurt or hinder progress. We shall see. Guess what? 14 years ago tomorrow I started dating Ex. FOURTEEN YEARS!!!! People who know the details don’t seem to understand why or how it is that I have no ill feelings towards him. I just don’t. There’s no point. It was. It’s over. I want closure. I have no regrets; it just was a mess that’s over. Now I need papers signed to say its over and that officially give me my name back.

Dear Mr. Whatever Your Last Name May Be,

FYI, my dear. If somehow I find you and decide that I can’t imagine life without you, I may marry you. But I will never change my name again. I won’t do it for you, or for the sake of the kids having the same name as both parents, or to make sure I don’t have trouble claiming your SSI when I outlive you. I am me. Alexis My Last Name. I will be forever and ever. Amen. Just thought I’d let you know now.


Ms. My Last Name Forever

I am rambling on a Sunday Do-over afternoon. I would love to hear your thoughts on the following:

  1. Housekeepers
  2. Underwear in a pack
  3. Working out in the gym vs. Working out outdoors
  4. Why not hating Ex is weird to some folks
  5. Women taking their husband’s names

Any or all of them. Take your pick. Sound off.



20 thoughts on “Ramblings on a Sunday Repeat

  1. so happy your dad is better, on housekeepers, had one when I lived in Boston, loved having her because it gave me time to do the things I wanted to do. Underwear in a pack, that just cracks me up, but no I never buy underwear in a pack, not that there is anything wrong with that but hell no. I think there is no reason to hate the ex… why waste good time and energy on something you have nothing to gain from. Good for you for just accepting it is, what it is. Nope, not going to take anyones name but my own just like underwear in a pack, just isn’t my thing. : )

  2. so happy your dad is better, on housekeepers, had one when I lived in Boston, loved having her because it gave me time to do the things I wanted to do. Underwear in a pack, that just cracks me up, but no I never buy underwear in a pack, not that there is anything wrong with that but hell no. I think there is no reason to hate the ex… why waste good time and energy on something you have nothing to gain from. Good for you for just accepting it is, what it is. Nope, not going to take anyones name but my own just like underwear in a pack, just isn’t my thing. : )

  3. You’re the kind of person who should have a housekeeper because you’ll be giving the person a job and you will treat him or her as a person. An elitist thinks (s)he is entitled to a housekeeper and pretty much everything else (s)he desires.

    What is wrong w/ underwear in a pack? At least you can reasonably expect no one else has worn it, unlike the draw’s at ghetto stores where they just dump them in a pile and you look around, wondering which skanky broad tried them on or stole a pair by exchanging it for her own.

    Can you bike or jog to work? I hate the outdoors, but I would love to be able to run again and you make jogging sound good.

    I’m the kind of person who is suspicious when someone harbors no ill feelings and downright grossed out by forgiving and forgetting. This guy has taken up too much of your life, however, and bad feelings only hurt you, not him, and as such are a waste of time. They say living well is the best revenge, but I think not dwelling and possibly even forgetting people or not thinking about them is great. People hate to be ignored; they can’t bear it if you don’t think of them, especially if they’re at odds with you. In fact, someone who continually stirs things up when you’re over it wants negative attention, preferring it to none. (When I see the non-4th fireworks over the Monument, I’ll know you’re free. 🙂

    I am always sorely disappointed in and lose respect for women who take their husbands’ names. They do so for stupid reasons, mainly revolving it being “easier,” which is not how one improves anything. I like the impetus behind men taking their wives’ names, but I still think no name change is better. There are many creative ways to name children, and state/school laws about needing permission to pick up or travel with your child whose surname is different should be changed to reflect reality.

  4. I’m really glad you dad is feeling better and that he can confide in you if he has that not-so-fresh feeling.

    Can you run before lunch, or get to work early and jog near there? Would arriving early or leaving later improve your commute? How do you feel about carpooling? You can audition people by seeing whether they play air drums on “In the Air Tonight.”

  5. 1. Housekeepers
    2. Underwear in a pack
    3. Working out in the gym vs. Working out outdoors
    4. Why not hating Ex is weird to some folks
    5. Women taking their husband’s names

    1. never had one.

    2. it’s all i buy. panties can go up to a HUNDRED DOLLARS A PAIR! and then you can’t wash them in regular cycles, you have to handwash and air dry and whatnot…. and they’re usually made of alpaca and ostrich feathers and swarovski crystals. none of which sound very comfortable and i usually wind up with some kind of rash after wearing them. all hail hanes 5-packs! and they come in so many colours, i have one to match everything…. lol

    3. working out… um… i have a rule: if i can’t do it in stilettos, i won’t do it. … thank god i’m one of those skinny bitches that comedienne mo’nique loves to riff on…

    4. i don’t hate any of my exes, and i still talk to one or two of them. my girlriends always think this is strange/wrong/weird. why hate? hate consumes and takes over your life. why give that much power to someone you don’t even have in your life any more? i’ve always been one to let go, and let god. while my friends are out keying ex’s cars, or blackmailing them with photos, i have moved on to bigger and better things…

    5. i said i would only take my husband’s last name if:
    a) if was considerably shorter than mine and/or
    b) it sounded good with my first name.
    my last name is 10 letters long. which is not a LONG, but considering that whenever i go to sign something people are pulling away a page before i’ve finished. i’d love to meet a guy with the last name Li. i’d change it in a hearbeat.

  6. @ Eslocura

    Thanks. I want the housekeeper so that I have time to do the things I want to do too. You mean to tell me you don’t even by your period panties in a pack??

    @ Macarena

    I had never thought of someone switching their underwear for the ones in a bin. Thanks A LOT for that. Now I’ll never outgrow the pack. And leave it to you to know how to spell draw’s!!!

    I live 27 miles from my job. While I am working hard at getting back into shape, 2 marathons a day is a bit much.

    Not forgiving and forgetting. Just moving on . I was angry and hurt and disgusted at one time, but never vengeful. I never wished him ill. I’m just over it now.

    I agree that women change their names for all of the wrong reasons. Tradition is not a good reason for me, especially since I know that the tradition is rooted in the exchange of property. What the HELL was I thinking?!?!?!

    I used to run at lunch at my old job, but we had a shower in the office. I don’t want to be the one with a not-so-fresh feeling in the office.

    If we had the option of a flexible schedule I’d definitely go in at 6am. But we don’t.

    @ Jaybee

    Hi! Welcome. I’m glad you stopped by and left your thoughts. I visited your blog but I need to go back some and get caught up. Then I’ll comment. 🙂

    Yeah, I can’t get with hand washing underwear. They, like most things in my opinion, are disposable. I’m not paying $100 for something disposable that touches my ass.

    I agree that hate consumes and takes over one’s life. Wasted energy. Keying cars?!?! Insanity!!! I’ll never give a man the opportunity to feel validated in his accusation that I am crazy.

    I come close to running out of spaces on the Scantron sheets myself. I’m still not changing my last name. Even if his is X.

  7. 1. Housekeepers

    You already have a great housekeeper. Her name is Alexis. She just needs to get off her ass and clean – LOLOL.

    2. Underwear in a pack

    Post the pictures! (Was that too enthusiastic?)

    3. Working out in the gym vs. Working out outdoors

    I know, I know – gypsies can only run outside. Get over that and go workout. It can’t be self-consciousness because you’re running outside – where more random people will see you than they would if you were inside at the gym. So this is just you being a tree-hugger. Nature will be fine, dear – go workout – LOL.

    4. Why not hating Ex is weird to some folks

    Other people not hating is not weird. YOU not hating him? That’s what’s weird.

    5. Women taking their husband’s names

    I’m not getting sucked into this – it’s too messy. She can take half whether she’s got your last name or not – so it really doesn’t matter.

    Things you’ll never hear men say in divorce court:

    “But your Honor, she doesn’t have my last name. Shouldn’t that count for something?”

    “Why can’t I have half of her stuff?”

    “Yeah, I know we’re separated – but I’m going to wait on buying the flat screen. It’s the responsible thing to do”

  8. @ BJB

    1. No!

    2. No! (And yes, WAY too enthusiastic.)

    3. I will. I’m going to have to switch to mornings at the gym. (Me??? Self-conscious?)

    4. Pay attention to the prepositions. The prompt reads “weird TO” not “weird FOR”. Just sayin’!

    5. What’s the matter, Punk? Afraid to spout your sexist rhetoric because you know you’ll be eaten alive in these parts?!?!? You EXPECT someone to take you name, don’t you? Admit it. That’s why she’s gonna take your stuff AND the flat screen. I might still go back for MINE. It IS still marital property, you know? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  9. I love cotton undies in a pack. I even wear the briefs because they stay put. My temple is very happy with me because of the panties I wear. And when my temple is happy, life is good.

  10. Hi,

    Just starting reading your blog. It’s really wonderful. And, finally, you’ve written about stuff I feel qualified to comment on:

    1. Housekeepers: I’d kill to be back in the 90s when I had one. It’s not elitist. Some of us need help cleaning our houses for various reasons. Don’t go The Merry Maids route though. There are plenty of cleaning ladies with their own businesses who could use your business.

    2. Underwear in a pack: Does it fit? Are you happy with it? Ooh, I know what is elitist – the $100 thong.

    3. Working out in the gym vs. Working out outdoors: I don’t like running in the dark for safety reasons. The treadmill can be really boring but somebody cute might get on the one machine next to you…

    4. Why not hating Ex is weird to some folks: As long as you are sincere about your feelings it doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks. However, if you are just trying to put a strong positive spin on things then you have a problem and need to deal with those feelings ’cause they will surface. I’ve watched someone close to me try to fake it and it’s really painful. Anytime she is upset by the ex, she starts using this new agey doublespeak when just saying, “he’s being an asshole,” would suffice.

    5. Women taking their husband’s names: Whatever. I do worry about hyphenated kids marrying other hyphenated kids. Does anyone need to be named Lisa Jones-Smith-Baumstein-Mondello?

    Glad to hear your dad is doing better. If my dad ever needs several weeks worth of antbioitcs, I’m going to use your monistat line. He’d totally crack up.

  11. I knew the dirty draw’s would skeeve you out, but it’s my form of PSA.

    I’d convinced myself that, sans traffic, your commute could be 10 minutes. Stupid concrete shift hours!

    Women who wish they had shorter/better names can change them anytime they like, though in certain states, doing so due to marriage is cheaper. Also, women are allowed to use their husbands’ names w/out legally changing them, at least for a while. But most importantly…

    DAMN! What about your credit?! Do you have to report your name changes to a credit bureau? I live in fear of being stuck w/ some jackass’ debt, like Bridget Fonda’s character in It Could Happen to You. No, it can’t, man, because I’m not getting married!

  12. 4. How about you pay attention to these nuts! Just saying (LOL). You’re right though, shhhhhhh…..

    5. I have no idea what you mean…mean…mean….

    To quote a famous R& B Singer…”Oh Sh*t!” LOL!

  13. @ Sarah

    Hi there. I’m glad you’ve been reading and thrilled that you commented. You’re always qualified to say something…even if it’s just hi!

    That’ll be $5 for the Monistat joke. I’ll add a PayPal button.

    @ Macarena

    I don’t even want to discuss what marriage can do your credit. I might break out in hives. And as far as reporting to the credit bureau…no need. Those 9 numbers don’t change, no matter how often your name does.

    @ Bauer

    Yeah, how about you TUCK those nuts and back out quietly!!

    And how dare you come up in here quoting R. Kelly. (Pulling off earrings as Kelly sings 3 part harmony, hand waving “Oh Sh*t”!!)

    That is worth a post!!! Has anybody seen that foolishness. ?

  14. Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!

    I answered these yesterday! I KNOW I did.

    Where is my post? Dang!

    Housekeepers – I’d rather do it myself

    Underwear in a pack – buy 4 get one free bonus packs are best

    Working out in the gym vs. Working out outdoors – Air conditioning and water – what’s not to love?

    Why not hating Ex is weird to some folks – I’m close to my exes

    Women taking their husband’s names – I don’t care.

  15. Housekeepers. No.

    Underwear in a pack. No. I prefer to pick them out individually, but when I find one I like, I will buy several.

    Gym vs outdoors. Outdoors if possible, although the machines are pretty swell.

    Not hating ex. Healthy. Everyone should strive for this. You are to be commended and emulated, not criticized. Unless the lack of hatred keeps someone stuck in a bad situation when closure would allow her to move on. That’s not you.

    Women & names. Women should keep their own names whenever possible because it isn’t right for us to lose our identity upon marriage. It is also impossible for old friends to find us if we no longer have our own names.

    If I hadn’t had less-than-wonderful associations with my family name, I would have kept it. I have always felt a bit like an imposter using someone else’s name, even though I love my husband.

  16. I’m baaaccckkkkk! I’ve missed reading about your life – it’s so much more interesting than my own at this moment (and any other moment). I really agree with Macarena’s comments, except of course about changing your name. My last name was Evans before I married. I was really getting tired of hearing that stupid ass Bob Evans jingle – I don’t know a damn thing about sausage!!

  17. @ LaShawn

    Hey Honey!!! How are you??? You know, I don’t even know your last name. I still call you Evans. I’d never find you in the phone book. I have to tell you about something we have in common, but I can’t do it here. It’s the stuff identity theft is made of.

    I missed you. Glad you’re back. We have to catch up so I can hear all about NC and you can hear all about…well, you know. Call me. When will you be here again. I miss you every time you’re in town.

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