I know I promised you guys pictures of church ladies in hats, but I don’t feel like uploading them. It’s not worth it anyway. I only got shots of folk’s backs since I could never figure out how to turn off the flash in time to get their faces. The lady I have the most pics of was cursing out the front desk staff at the hotel because the shuttle left her. I. kid. you. not. I thought I’d pee on myself. Oh, and she was shaking her cane in their faces. Can someone please tell me why someone who needs a cane was walking around in 3 inch hot pink satin and rhinestone pumps (over which her swollen ankles were pouring) that matched her suit made of the same? Maybe she had the cane so that she could walk in those shoes. Instead she was using it to part the Red Sea and call down a hotel shuttle from heaven, so maybe she didn’t really need it after all. Oh well. Enough of that for now.
Do you know what today is? Today is the day of my first session with my health consultant that I told you about in this post. It was a good session. She sent me a box of goodies beforehand that I wasn’t supposed to open until tonight. Do you think I succeeded? Hell no. I was all up in that box yesterday. By the session tonight I had read everything in it for tonight’s session and marked 27 recipes to try in my greens cookbook. Yes, that’s right a whole cookbook devoted to greens. I’m supposed to try 2 recipes using greens I’ve never eaten before. Why would anyone eat dandelions? I don’t know either, but I’ll tell you how it goes before the week is out. Please tell me about your favorite recipes for green leafy veggies (minus the hog maws, fat back, and streak-o-lean please). I hate lettuce people. I don’t know what my deal is, but I think if it as filler, not food. It’s getting too cold for salad anyway, in my book…so think fall cozy “pot liquor” creating greens. The book spells it “pot likker”, but they must have been going for PC or something.
So, T, my health consultant is kind of a trainer therapist hybird of sorts. We needed to talk about the real issues going on with me in order to get at my attitudes and behaviors around food. We came to come conclusions tonight. Would you like to take a guess? Go ahead. Say what you’re thinking. Does it start with, “Lexi has issues…”? Ding. Ding. Ding. Jackpot. Issues with what you ask? Um, church maybe?? This divorce needs to be over maybe??? Time to stop living to the beat of the finger shakers maybe??? Yep. I can’t hide it. It oozes out of my pores. I love that the issues are on the surface and that I don’t have to dig deep for them. I know that they’re there and I’m not afraid of them. I was sooooo cynical last week in Memphis. I was a flat out bitch in many cases. The universe was calling me on my shit. I’m sure of it.
I know some of you may not see where I’m still hearing the finger shaking voices, but that’s because it’s in areas I can’t talk about freely here…yet. It’s coming though. I think part of the reason I’m stuck on some of these things is because I can’t use my healing place (this blog) to work through some of those thoughts. I thought of starting a secret blog to write about it all, but I won’t be able to resist publishing it. For now my thoughts are safe in my journal on my night stand. It’s only half useful though, because I don’t have the benefit of the sage feedback I get from you guys (with the exception of whomever keeps coming to my blog by googling “see girls vagina”. I swear if I figure out your IP address I will turn your ass in to the FBI, you pervert!!! ) Digression. Sorry. Suffice it to say you will have to struggle to keep up when I can blow the cap on this taboo-for-the-moment subject matter. I have soooo much to say.
So I have goals — one month, six month and one year goals. My one month goals are to cook more regularly and take all of my meals and snacks with me during the week; re-establish a regular exercise schedule; and gain control over my sugar binges. First step, clean my kitchen so that I can find space to cook. See, that’s the problem with cooking at home…dishes!! Somehow the fact that there’s just one of me doesn’t mitigate the reality of having to do all the work myself. Someone else should do the dishes and take out the garbage. Geez! Cut me some slack!
I’m going to sleep now, Lovelies. I’m going to get up early and do yoga.