Things That Shouldn’t Come as a Shock #1

I had a lovely conversation with my accountant today — tax time, you know. I’ve known her for many years and she was happy to hear that my long draw-out divorce is finally complete. We caught up on what’s been going on with each of us in the last year and eventually the conversation came around to a subject we’ve discussed for years and that is one of the reasons I like this lady so much.

She is a white woman in her late fifties or early sixties. She and her husband have one daughter, a recent college graduate, and the three of them are all members of a Lutheran church (I’m 90% sure it’s Lutheran). Her husband is 14 years her senior and gay. I have had the best conversations with this woman over the years about love, devotion, acceptance, tolerance, God, self-awareness, friendship and family. She told me today that she and her husband are finally at peace and that they have decided to stay together and love each other and be the great friends they’ve been all these years. She told me about the handful of family members they have shared this with over the past year and their unconditional acceptance and love (partly because they already knew, as family members usually do). And she told me of the unconditional love and acceptance they have received from the people they’ve shared this with in their church. That brought a huge smile to my face. I was so relieved to know that this man can be who he is and still find love and acceptance within his faith.

She told me that when her husband dies (and I’m guessing she’s assuming he’s going first), she can’t wait to stand up at his funeral and say, “You all knew a gay man–and he didn’t come on to you, and he didn’t hurt you.”

Oh that we’d all just get it. And get over it.


4 thoughts on “Things That Shouldn’t Come as a Shock #1

  1. @ thismomentnow

    It is sad that they cannot be open about it now. I have pretty in-your-face kind of personality, but they are from a different time. This is huge for them. The rest of us have so far to go so that, yes, a wife shouldn’t have to wait until her husbands funeral to speak openly about his sexuality.

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