Creating the Life I Want

I have had a nearly perfect weekend. One reason it’s been great, that you’ll notice immediately, is that I have had time to blog. That’s always a good thing. Also, the fairies (read: cleaning service) came on Thursday, so all I had to do this weekend was buy groceries and cook. Both are activities I love almost as much as…breathing. They are especially enjoyable when someone else had already cleaned my kitchen and emptied the dishwasher. Amen.

Basically I have walked around the lake, eaten, read, relaxed, gotten my taxes done, drunk lots of water, done yoga, meditated, read some more and gone to Border’s to buy more books to read. And had sushi — that is an event unto itself. The only thing missing is having great sex. Any takers?

I have been thinking a lot about the subject of my last post, the password protected one. I really feel drawn to a much simpler lifestyle. Where I land may not be too much different than the lifestyle I’m currently living (which is pretty modest, don’t be fooled by the fairies), but it is in sharp contrast with the trajectory I started with this new job. Read all up in between those lines so I don’t have to password protect this post too. OK?

I am just convinced that this crazy hustle and bustle, trying to get ahead, dollar-chasing American lifestyle is not the one for which I am destined. I need time to be, to be still, to reflect, to read, to learn, to eat good homemade food sllllllooooooowwwwwwlllllllyyyyyyy. Do you know what I mean? I need time to walk in the park, hike in the mountains, learn to play my guitar so that I can hear my chords echo through those majestic mountains. I need time to cuddle with a doggie and play fetch with him by the lake. I need time to fall in love again and explore what it means to be in a relationship and be independent at the same time. I need time to be pregnant and experience the wonder of life growing inside of me — or not. I need time to decide if, instead of pregnancy, I want to love a child who’s already here and alone and longing to be chosen. I need time to enjoy my relationships with my parents who I can see getting older by the day. Why have we created lives for ourselves that don’t leave any time for — living?

I am having a great time reading a bunch of different perspectives on life and God and spirituality and why we’re here and where we’re going and such. The most enjoyable aspect of this journey has been noticing all of the points at which these ideas, philosophies, metaphors, institutions, religions, etc. intersect and say essentially the same things. I have so much I want to read. Here’s what I’m currently, simultaneously reading:

  • Philosophies of India, by Heinrich Zimmer
  • Freedom in Exile: The Autobiography of the Dalai Lama
  • Living Yoga: Creating a Life Practice, by Christy Turlington
  • Mama, by Terry McMillan
  • The Complete Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue, by Neal Donald Walsch

And here’s what’s in the queue:

  • How to Know God, Deepak Chopra
  • The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle
  • A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle
  • In Defense of Food, Michael Pollan
  • Perfect Health, Deepak Chopra
  • The Third Jesus, Deepak Chopra
  • The Historian, Elizabeth Kostova
  • Disappearing Acts, Terry McMillan
  • Snakes and Earrings, Hitomi Kanehara
  • The House of the Seven Gables, Nathaniel Hawthorne
  • The Pilot’s Wife, Anita Shreve
  • Healing Love through the Tao: Cultivating Female Sexual Energy, Mantak Chia

I’m too lazy today to link all of those to Copy and paste as much as you want if you want to know about any of those.

Needless to say, I need more time to do the things in life I really want to do. I need to find a way to make that happen. And I will find it. So many spiritual perspectives in the world support the notion that we already know all we need to know, we just have to learn to settle ourselves and listen to the truth within us. Though they call this process different things, the idea is still the same: in the stillness and the silence we find wisdom and truth.

The thought of a month at an ashram in upstate New York, or some similar retreat in the Pacific Northwest sound really appealing right now. Such an experience, however, should not be a decision made by impulse. I’m trying to contain my impulses…but I’ve already priced out one of the options.

Have a good week, Lovelies.


12 thoughts on “Creating the Life I Want

  1. The picture is just lovely.

    I moved here because of my job, and have come up with a maximum distance from which I can walk there through a blizzard, if necessary. Coming from a rush-hour-only suburb and a bus-train commute that could mean over 12 hours away from home, I am determined not to return to anything like it.

    One reason my job suits me is that, when I’m not in the office, my time is my own. We don’t have mandatory OT, and for one perfect summer, I scheduled a post-work nap and about an hour in the pool. I can’t jet off to London on a whim, and I have to delay purchases until the end of my credit card billing period, but I only do what I feel like doing. If I get up early, I can have long afternoons at home. Clearing Sundays, and the rare long weekend mean I have too much time on my hands.

  2. Thank you. there are similarities with us, a change for what matters is I think the road to peace within. 3 things; sometimes we get in our own way, your fit in the world will also change because you travel on a different road, Take yourself out of the picture and all you need will be there, it really is amazing. I am free. fred

  3. @ ~m~

    Your work life sounds lovely. And, while I understand that creating a similar situation for my self will include some restraint of the not jetting of to London type, the reality is that I can’t do that now! I leave my house at 6:40am. At the earliest I am back by 6:40pm. Too often I am home between 7:30-10:00pm. The 12 hour day is not acceptable, the others I won’t even discuss.

    As I was leaving the office Friday at 5:40 (40 minutes later than I should have) my cell phone rang! It was my CEO. Needless to say, I didn’t answer it. I have to draw the line somewhere. Unfortunately, he may take the same stance, but what can I do?

    @ Fred

    I think I am the master of getting in my own way. That’s a post in and of itself. Keep checking back as I flesh that one out a bit.

  4. Can I have the password?

    I’m not cut out for the materialistic money driven American lifestyle either. I want to buy a farm and grow my own food, with a couple of happy cows and chickens. That’s all.

    I must go check out some of those books.

  5. THIS is exactly why I live where I live right now. My kids are growing like weeds and I refuse to blink and then find that they’re gone. I love having two-day weekends again! And making my own schedule. And doing whatever the hell I want seven days a week! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!!

    A monster has been created, and she is me.

  6. @ Katrice

    The world is certainly a-changing if the order in which I received your comments in my email is the order in which you read them. Could it possibly be that your OCD behind read posts out of chronological order?

    Do you remember that over Christmas I told you I’d go nuts in your situation? Yeah, well, I’d give my baby toe for your situation right about now!

    And, welcome to the 2 DAY WEEKEND! Imagine THAT!

  7. Another post , like the one you just wrote? Don’t think I could come up with anymore dazzling things to say,haha, wait what was the question? I don’t understand,haha. Just injecting a little humour here,perhaps you’ll smile. Wanted to be a florist- allergic to flowers, tried to be a philanthropist-no money, tried a wordist-did’nt have the words, well its for sure I’m not a computerist.

  8. I know, right???? I couldn’t wait for the passwords. That’s the only reason I read them out of order.

    I think my blood pressure is up.

    Come to Texas. That is all.

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