I’ve been trying to observe how the notion that “what you resist persists” plays out in my day to day life. I first noticed it with my all out aversion to all things Christian. The more I resisted, avoided, stewed against these ideas, people, whatever – the more the annoyance and my unresolved feelings continued to eat away at me. When I finally got to the place where I could chalk Christianity up to someone’s religious choice, regardless of my past experience with it, I was able to respect it and not be offended by some things as much as I was. This is still very much a work in progress, so probably not the best example. Here’s another one.
I have always claimed to be a city girl. I resist all things I perceive as “country” – like Katrice’s old neighborhood in Dallas where you had to wait for sheep to cross the street at times. [crickets] Yeah, so, that’s just not what I’m used to or what I consider to be the least bit appealing. But I’m starting to re-think that. I claim that I want a lifestyle in which I am not consumed by the hustle and bustle of getting ahead; not entrapped by the capitalist rat race; not driven my materialism but rather am free to take time to smell the roses, enjoy life, eat meals slowly, have long walks and long talks without having to rush to the next thing. Like, I’d love to sit on a swing on the front porch in the summertime and drink lemonade and watch the kids run through the sprinklers and chase them down with Super-soakers, while snapping fresh green beans from the garden, eating a tomato I picked right off the vine on the side of the porch. That’s country living. My identification with being a city girl belies my heart’s desire, I think.
I started looking for cute city apartments (read: small and over-priced apartments) in Dallas yesterday. But, you know, even if I have to endure a commute from hell, I think I’m going to stick with the big luxurious reasonably priced apartments in the country (read: down the road from Katrice). Debbie suggested Boulder, Colorado. I checked pics out on the web and almost wept when I saw those glorious Rockies.
The mountains CALL ME, People. Do you hear me? I belong there! But the job market in Colorado? Not so much. Dallas is the desert?!?! But at least it’s not the Nation’s Capital and there are people there I love, and the city is just so darn cute, and I can have a DOG!!! Maybe slow-living will help me happen upon a country-guy with family values, raised by his Grandma who knows how to treat a lady riiight?
What do you think about the statement, “what you resist persists”? I think resisting country living has held me captive in a life I loathe.