What we resist persists?

I’ve been trying to observe how the notion that “what you resist persists” plays out in my day to day life. I first noticed it with my all out aversion to all things Christian. The more I resisted, avoided, stewed against these ideas, people, whatever – the more the annoyance and my unresolved feelings continued to eat away at me. When I finally got to the place where I could chalk Christianity up to someone’s religious choice, regardless of my past experience with it, I was able to respect it and not be offended by some things as much as I was. This is still very much a work in progress, so probably not the best example. Here’s another one.

I have always claimed to be a city girl. I resist all things I perceive as “country” – like Katrice’s old neighborhood in Dallas where you had to wait for sheep to cross the street at times. [crickets] Yeah, so, that’s just not what I’m used to or what I consider to be the least bit appealing. But I’m starting to re-think that. I claim that I want a lifestyle in which I am not consumed by the hustle and bustle of getting ahead; not entrapped by the capitalist rat race; not driven my materialism but rather am free to take time to smell the roses, enjoy life, eat meals slowly, have long walks and long talks without having to rush to the next thing. Like, I’d love to sit on a swing on the front porch in the summertime and drink lemonade and watch the kids run through the sprinklers and chase them down with Super-soakers, while snapping fresh green beans from the garden, eating a tomato I picked right off the vine on the side of the porch. That’s country living. My identification with being a city girl belies my heart’s desire, I think.

I started looking for cute city apartments (read: small and over-priced apartments) in Dallas yesterday. But, you know, even if I have to endure a commute from hell, I think I’m going to stick with the big luxurious reasonably priced apartments in the country (read: down the road from Katrice). Debbie suggested Boulder, Colorado. I checked pics out on the web and almost wept when I saw those glorious Rockies.

The mountains CALL ME, People. Do you hear me? I belong there! But the job market in Colorado? Not so much. Dallas is the desert?!?! But at least it’s not the Nation’s Capital and there are people there I love, and the city is just so darn cute, and I can have a DOG!!! Maybe slow-living will help me happen upon a country-guy with family values, raised by his Grandma who knows how to treat a lady riiight?

What do you think about the statement, “what you resist persists”? I think resisting country living has held me captive in a life I loathe.


8 thoughts on “What we resist persists?

  1. I didn’t know you live in DC. I live kinda in the country in Leesburg. I yuv it here.

    I agree with your “resist persists” theory. Just the fact that we are “resisting” means that we are giving it our energy, so of course it persists.

  2. I know my subconscious continually jabs me with things that i have yet to resolve, kinda like the resists/persists theory.

    there are things I miss about the city, I think you will too – so don’t move too far out.

  3. I use to want to live in Dallas. But I really love the quiet of this small West Texas town I live in. I love visiting Dallas (five to six hour trip) but I just don’t want to live there anymore.

  4. I got all the way to the end before realizing that, to you, “persists” means it won’t take “no” for an answer. Stalker! I was taking it to mean that people will continue to do/like/think/want crap and I may never understand, but I need to stop dwelling on or separate myself from it.

  5. I thought we had a plan!! You are moving to the cityburbs (ie my neighborhood).

    I actually enjoy country life too, as long as there is a mall within driving distance. But if you move to Charlotte, I will have no choice but to follow you.

    P.S. – I actually posted today! Whoo Hoo!!

  6. The mountains are powerful.

    I will be moving to Boulder, CO in the next 5 years. Even if I have to go back to school and change careers and go back to whoring to pay for the whole damn thing. I’m that serious.

  7. I remember you once saying that you could live communally with all your worldly possessions in a backpack and be perfectly happy at home in nature.

    Face it. You’re a damn hippie.

    My “old neighborhood?” Wow! THAT makes it seem like I’ve been here forever. We stopped through that old neighborhood the other day. The neighbors were outside telling us about the day’s excitement: a loose snake in one of the lady’s trees! And apparently there is a lady down the road who has pet boas that swim in the pool with her kid. As this conversation was going on, a young girl came walking down the street with a baby boa draped around her neck.

    Thank you, GOD, that we have moved!!!

  8. I have always considered myself a country girl at heart, so the move to Charlotte was not so jarring. For about 4 years, my husband resisted, and I persisted. In the end he realized he wanted the change almost as much as I. It’s almost like ‘protesting’ too much. Our subconscience knows a little more than we do…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s