I am learning that the when we ignore the lessons the universe is trying to teach us, it speaks louder and louder until we finally listen. I got a pretty loud lesson this week about trusting my gut when it comes to making judgments about folks I bring into my life.
The situation set me back a bit at first (you know, men are shit blah blah blah). But I’ve given it enough space to realize that I have wonderfully decent men all around me. This man is shit. I just need to learn to smell it and call it what it is before I step in it and end up ruining my good shoes or something. You know what I mean?
My experience with assholes has oddly left me still willing to give people the benefit of the doubt and to trust until you give me a reason not to. I struggle with whether or not this is such a good idea though. It’s not in my nature to be hardened and distrusting. I want to believe the best about everyone, knowing that we are all capable of being monsters. But trusting got me burned. A friend said to me the day the shit went down, “Lex, we are victims because we trust but, without it, what do we have? ” I’m not so sure I agree. At least I don’t want it to be true.
What say you? Who deserves the benefit of the doubt? Do you trust until you have a reason not to or distrust until someone proves worthy of trust? Do you think one’s approach to trust in relationships has an impact on one’s overall happiness?
I don’t want to live with a wall around my heart and hope for someone to come along who is patient enough to hammer at it until it crumbles. I do want someone to understand the value of one’s trust and honor it — but do we set it out there as something to be earned?
Sound off, please. I want to hear what folks think about this.