I’ve been thinking about my relationship with my hair for quite some time. I remember going around and around about whether I should go natural or continue to relax my hair hundreds of times over the years. One of my most popular posts has been I Am Not My Hair.
I think I have finally decided to do it. I’m going to go completely natural all at once. Yes. That means the Big Chop. My relaxer has grown out for about 8 weeks now (I may give it a few more weeks), but it’s time. I have considered many of the same things all black women consider before taking the plunge: what will people think, will I be attractive, will others find me attractive, does my hair define me, am I confident enough to do this, do I have the face for bald, should I lose more weight first, can I find a new job natural. I’ve considered it all. Here’s my conclusion:
I am not my hair. My hair doesn’t define me, I am not identified by it — regardless of how others my use my hairstyle to categorize me. I am, however, completely out of touch with a very significant facet of myself. I have not seen my natural hair since I was 7 years old. I don’t even remember what I look like with my hair not straightened with chemicals. That makes me sad. I am a black woman and I love when I see other sisters rock their natural hair with confidence. I am trying to live a lifestyle that embraces ease and an improved quality of life. I currently spend way too much time worrying about my hair and how to care for it and I am really annoyed that it prevents me from swimming 4 days a week if I want to! While relaxing hair is supposed to make it more manageable…the upkeep is a drain on time and energy and I’m ready to be free from it. I’m not doing this because I think that somehow I am a “sell-out” for relaxing my hair — because I don’t. I’m not motivated by anything negative like that. I’m just ready for a change and I’m choosing something that will make my life a lot easier (I think).
So, when? I’m not sure. I don’t want to deal with the Chop and the current workplace — but maybe. I’m anxious to do it, so I may do it before my birthday (June 6th). It’ll be my 35th, so maybe I’ll do it in honor of my new life and all. We’ll see. I’ll post before and after pics for sure.
I’m ready! Let’s do this.
UPDATE: My brother’s response in an IM:
Rick: Natural as in NAPPY? Hell nawwwww
me: hahahahahahahah Yes!!!!
Rick: I will disown yo ass!
me: you are gonna get me fired!
I just posted your comment on my blog!
Yes. I’m going to do it in the next month or so.
Start from Scratch
Rick: OK you trying to be ***** *********’s twin.
me: ewwwwww!!! Fighting words!!!!!!
Rick: ha haaaaa
me: I’m cute!!!!
And I plan to let it GROW! It’s not going to stay short forever!!!
I’ll be in Texas, you won’t have to look at it! Asshole!
Rick: aaaaight Kizzy
me: Damn, Rick!
Rick: Alexis B. My Last Name
Rick: Beadie Bead, Buckshot, Baby Bush…take your pick.
OK OK OK i am just playin’
Oh, God! LMAO. I’m glad I don’t care what other people think!!