Just for today…

Just for today, I will not worry.

Just for today, I will not anger.

I will give thanks for all my blessings.

A couple of days removed from the armed robbery in front of my building and following yoga and meditation on this glorious morning, I am in a much better place.  There is something to be said for ritual and its ability to bring you right back to the heart of it all.

This morning, I realize that anger, fear and worry will not buy me one moment of peace or safety.  So, I let it go.  And I am thankful to this person for reminding me to be present and aware, even as I am walking from my car at night.  Sounds all mashed potatoes and Pollyanna, I know.  But it’s the choice I make today, for myself.  Am I 100% at peace? No.  But at least I can be present to what I am feeling and free to choose who I want to be in response to this.

Have a great day!  It’s a gorgeous one.

I will do my work honestly.

….so I can get out of the office as quickly as possible and enjoy the sunshine!

Love, loves.

Baby steps are getting bigger…

Funny how things work out in our best interest, even when we least expect it.  I’ve been planning to tear myself away from cable television for a long time now.  First, I spend too much time unconsciously watching it or having it play in the background for no good reason.  Background noise distracts me; it doesn’t help me focus, as others claim.   And I don’t know about yours, but my combined cable-internet-phone bill is $165 per month.  That’s way too expensive when there are better things I want to spend my money on – like Reiki treatments (more on that in a bit).

Well, Comcast sucks ass and has consistently locked me out of my online account over the last few months.  I call and get things set up again and when I log on to pay the bill the following month, I can’t get in.  I do things when I have the impulse to do them – this includes paying bills.  That impulse usually hits around payday while I am sitting at my computer at work.  I have paperless billing and I pay everything online but my rent.  Everything.  Well since Comcast hasn’t been cooperating, I have apparently relegated them to the fate of the other “out-of-sight-out-of-mind” things in my life.  I haven’t paid them –probably 2 months running now.  Yesterday I came home to notice that my cable box no longer displayed the time (I can’t even get the TIME for free!!).  I quickly realized that, oops, cable bill hasn’t been paid so no cable, internet or land line for me. 

I sat in my quiet apartment and realized that I enjoy it.  I had time to read and think and journal and meditate and I wasn’t tempted to distract myself from those nobler tasks by watching my TiVo’d reality shows or Rachel Ray make yet another meal I’ll never cook.  I liked my night without TV and I knew I would, I just couldn’t bring myself to make the decision to end my cable addiction on my own.  I needed help.  Well help has come and — lest I be criticized for not paying my bills – I’ve decided to pay Comcast what I owe them and have them come pick up my cable boxes and modem.    That’s right!  No more TV or internet at home for Lex.  This is a good time for it too.  My lease is up in August.  I hope to be moving by then and I’ll reconsider introducing them back into my home when I’m settled in a new one.

I still have my Crackberry, so I won’t be completely isolated from the rest of civilization and there are more than enough places near my house with free WiFi for me to go somewhere deliberately for a set amount of time to do whatever  I need to do online. 

I feel so light today.

P.S. – Has anyone had a Reiki treatment?  I’m scheduling one soon to see what it’s like but I want to hear stories first.