A Whole Buncha Stuff

Ahhhhhhhhhh. It’s Friday and I am home, undressed and resting on my couch with a glass of Shiraz. I have just consciously released the last bit of tension from the work week and am ready to settle in to a relaxing weekend. I am supposed to be just at home for a minute to change my clothes and meet friends at a club in the city…but no, this is much better. They’ll give me hell for it on Monday, but that’s OK. I’m used to it.

I almost blew a surprise tonight. People, I need you to know that if you invite someone to a function that is a surprise, you must advise them of such. I was so close to blowing it today I could taste it. Not good.

How was your Valentine’s Day? I’d love to hear about it. I sat in the office and watched all the flowers and cards pour in. It was swickening. Yes, that’s my oxymoronic hybrid of sweet and sickening. I’m happy for people who are in love and get sweet gestures on special days. I’d be more impressed if women got flowers at the office on the Third Tuesday in March or some other random day, but whatever works. Sometimes men can be morons and they need a big blaring pink and red reminder on their calendars to do something remotely decent for the women who adore them and clean their funky socks. You know what I hated about holidays with Ex? I always had to pick my own present. Eff that! OK? I’d rather not get a gift at all than pick it myself. If I have to pick a gift myself, I might as well buy it too. I need a man to think and choose. I’m not hard to please, so he can hardly go wrong. Think. Choose. Give. I am a happy lady.

I don’t have a love yet, but I’m finally open to the idea. Divorce is less than a month away guys!!! Can you believe it? I separated from Ex on April 23, 2005. It has been nearly 3 years!!! This has taken way longer than any divorce in any state in the union should ever take but, alas, it will be over March 14th. Wanna know something funny? That’s the same day my brother divorced his first wife. How weird is that? Right? Sorry, I got sidetracked. I was talking about love.

I think I’m open to love again. I’m close enough to the divorce that I don’t give a shit about saying that I am dating now and have been for some time. This is one of the topics I’ve shied away from on this blog for fear that he’d accuse me of adultery or some shit like that. Yeah, me the adulterer. Imagine THAT! Anyway, I am not dating anyone exclusively and I feel like I have some kind of mental block when it comes to considering a love relationship with anyone. I need closure. So many people have assured me that my marriage was over a long time ago, blah, blah, blah. But I need to hear the gavel pound before I feel like I can consider myself available for that kind of relationship again. Is that weird to anyone? I feel fine dating and…ehem…stuff, but I just feel like I can’t responsibly consider what a relationship might look like until this baggage is neatly disposed of forever. Does that make sense to you?

So, with that said, there was no Valentine for Lexi. It was cool though. I hated the holiday for the entire 12 years we were together, so it was actually an improvement to be neutral this year. Last year I was all about V-Day and anti-violence against women stuff, so I was distracted from whatever I felt about the Cupid aspects of the day. Has anybody else dated or married anyone whom you are certain made a deliberate effort to start World War III right before a holiday or anniversary. I swear by all that is holy that Ex did this to get out of buying gifts. You may think I’m exaggerating, but I could set my clock by this. If a gift-giving, affection expressing holiday were on the horizon, attitude and fighting ensued. Cheap-ass! I’m sure he isn’t the only one.

I actually dreamed about him last night. I stopped by the house to take him a check. In real life, I really do need to get a mortgage escrow check to him. Anyway, when I went by we were all friendly and talking about his new girlfriend he was trying to deny and I hugged him and wished him well. In a perfect world, right? I really would like to be able to wish him well in his life without me, but he had such a hostile disposition when I saw him in court in November, that I just don ‘t think that’s in the cards for us. At the end of the day, he did some fucked up shit to me; I was a bitch because I was sick of it and I left. I just wish that somehow we could both acknowledge those truths and agree to move on and wish each other well. I want fairytale closure. One can hope. I really don’t hate him, despite it all. There are things about him that I really loved and admired. Too bad we can’t be friends who just couldn’t make it as husband and wife. That’s how it would end in my fairytale.

Enough about that. It’s FRIDAY and I have no plans to work at all this weekend, unlike the past 3 weekends in a row. Whooo – effing — Hooo!!! How cool. I’m going to buy a coffee table tomorrow. My parents gave me gift cards to get one for Christmas, but I haven’t had time to go yet. I’m going to IKEA because I’m cheap like that. I left an Ethan Allen table with Ex. Don’t curse my name, Ladies. It wasn’t worth fighting for. I took the couches.

Have a great weekend. I hope to get caught up on all your blogs and maybe even write more this weekend. I’m backed up! It’s been that long.

Peace.

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Perfect Weekend

For me, a great weekend is striking the perfect balance between doing what you want to do and doing what you need to do. I had a great weekend.

Friday night I went out to dinner with my brother and sister-in-law (and friends) for her birthday. I was able to make it home so that I could ride with them and not have to worry about how much I had to drink. That was the best move of the night. The frozen margaritas at Lauriol Plaza are lovely. I was feeling quite nice after 3 of those bad boys. That’s an extremely popular restaurant in DC, so there was a 2 hour wait to be seated for dinner. We had some great conversation and laughs and some folks know a lot more about me. I was actually shocked that one girl didn’t know that I was going through a divorce. I need to do better at wearing my details on my sleeve. 😉

Saturday I woke up at my brother’s house, drove home, signed my lease renewal and my sister in law came over to talk business ideas. We laughed and hung out until my brother came over, at which time we left him, went to the organic market, came home and fantasized about cooking. We flaked and went for sushi instead, then coffee and then the cops showed up, talking to the man from the sushi bar and they took off around the building looking for someone who was apparently there the night before. This situation is very strange in the ‘burbs. Everyone was sitting outside with their families, watching the police, chilling and chatting. I gave my brother the “what in the hell are you waiting for” look. He, well acclimated to the ‘burbs, said, “Oh, are you ready to go?” Me: “You’ve obviously forgotten your ‘hood skills. We don’t sit around and watch with 5-0 chasing someone. Not this close, at least.” He laughed and we got in the truck and left, expeditiously. We came back to my apartment and talked. They went home and my brother went to work, only to realize he wasn’t supposed to work that night. I talked to my sissy until 2am and polished off a bottle of red wine. I went to bed and slept until noon.

Sunday “morning” I got up, went to the grocery store, cleaned the kitchen, baked a rum cake for sissy’s birthday and banana bread for me, because my bananas were going to go bad. I made dinner for the week, did laundry and ….watched FOOTBALL!!! Brother and sissy came to get the cake. They ate dinner. We watched Baisden After Dark — which stirred up all kinds of conversation about “maintenance men” and whether size matters. They went home. I finished up my laundry. That was it. My whole weekend.

It was great!!

I love doing just what I feel like doing and still managing to squeeze in a little productivity.

Last weekend I cleaned out and washed my car –with my own hands!!! You have no idea how big of an accomplishment that was. I live out of my car and anyone who’s ever ridden with me knows exactly what that means. Now I’m in bad shape if I get stranded in a collapsed tunnel. All of my “essentials” are in their proper places: dirty clothes hamper, dishwasher, closet, silverware drawer, pantry, medicine cabinet, wine rack and shower.

Did you guys have a good weekend? What’s a perfect one for you?

UPDATE: Oh, and please weigh in on maintenance men and whether size matters too!!!